reflections i

[waxingcrescent]

my health anxiety might be coming from the mismatch between how much i value my health and the way i treat my body (i.e., irregular and non nutritious meals; poor sleep practices: no enforced bedtime routine, staying up way too late like i'm doing right now; inconsistent exercise routine, inconsistent water drinking; avoiding seeking medical help). i worry that i'm going to pass out/require medical attention when i'm somewhere i don't feel safe. i can:

• enforce better boundaries with my self regarding my physical health for the betterment of my own wellbeing
• seek medical help for my issues
• understand that i'm not always going to feel great but there are things i can still do even when i'm not at 100%
• continue to seek out experiences that are appealing but outside of my comfort zone, while being prepared (snacks and water in my bag)
• try to put more trust in the medical system and even in strangers/company that if i need help i will be able to be helped

more tomorrow on moving through the tunnel of emotions and sex and relationships.

nice thing that happened today: family dinner for christmas. it was really nice seeing my aunts, uncles, and especially my cousins. i had a good time and enjoyed the food - i tried to meet my appetite where it was at rather than force myself to meet a protein goal or anything like that. i'm not eating an ideal amount but i didn't get the dizzy/lightheaded feeling all day today which was great :) especially since i was proactive and got a snack for the long car ride rather than trying to tough it out.